74 Dawlish Avenue, Ontario, Canada
M4N1H1
29 November 2007
Mr. Tom Stevens
Director of Admissions
Royal St.George’s College
120 Howland Avenue
Toronto, Ontario M5R 3B5
Dear Mr. Stevens,
I currently attend Sterling Hall in grade 8. I arrived to Sterling Hall in grade 3 so this is my 6th year at SHS. I am currently the Arts Prefect. This position leads visual arts, music, and drama. I recently had a tour of Royal St. George’s College (RSGC), actually you yourself toured me. Your school is my first choice. My application has been sent in for grade 9. RSGC is the best fit for me because the atmosphere was instantly welcoming and friendly and because I know a strong focus of RSGC is music; music is one of the things I look for in a school.
I contribute in many ways in the Sterling Hall life. As an 8th grader, being one of the oldest kids of the school, I have many opportunities for leadership and role modeling. The leadership roles vary from leading a gym class or teaching some younger boys art classes. I also play on a sports team every term. My two strongest sports at Sterling Hall are hockey and soccer. I have been the captain, as chosen by my peers, for the soccer team since grade 4. I am a positive influence for other team members. I contribute a wide variety of maturity at Sterling Hall. In class room life, I pay attention and work hard. As a reward of my hard work, last year I was awarded the proficiency award. This is rewarded to the boy with the most effort and highest average. I am in two school music bands and I bring lots of musical talent and effort to the school.
RSGC is an amazing school. I liked this school because of many reasons, one of which was the welcoming and friendly feeling. As I was walking through the halls and touring the class rooms, they were decorated with posters and club information. It felt like all the boys in the school were friends and new boys would easily fit in. I felt very touched with the schools’ charity work and the community service development at RSGC. If I were accepted, I feel like I could contribute in many ways to the school. I would be a strong addition to the RSGC band as one of the alto saxophone players. In the sports department I could play for the school sports teams. In the class room I work really hard and I succeed with my extra effort. RSGC has a great curriculum that I could participate strongly in.
My tour at RSGC got me very excited about the possibility of attending the school. I feel that RSGC is an excellent fit for me academically, athletically, and musically. I look forward to my interview and to talk to more with you about Royal St. George’s College.
Sincerely,
Reid Mattan
3 comments:
Hey Reid
your address and information is good to start it off. One sentence that doesn't make sense to me is I recently had a tour of Royal St. George’s College (RSGC), actually you yourself toured me? maybe fix it up. Also say a little more about your role as Art Prefect.
Being one of the oldest kids OF? the school try...IN... it might
sound better.
You use the name RSGC a lot in the third paragraph mix it up a bit.
Your Conclusion is Fresh and interesting...nice. You might wanna add just a little more to your conclusion. Anyways, Nice Job only a few mistakes and a few repetitions of RSGC and sometimes you repeat the same thing over and over but just a little work is needed to make this poem the best it can be.
Nice Job,
-Shane W
1st your postal code needs to spaces out and Toronto ontario on your part needs to nbe o a different line.
2nd Tom Stevens Postal code is needs above Toronto, Ontario
1st paragragh: Don't tell him the (RSGC) he already knows that. Tell him more about what kind of music you play and what intrument?
2nd paragraph: Like how what dod you do in sterling hall what does your leadership role do. what level of hockey do you play and maybeand make you tell him about how tere soccer field is on BMO Stadium (Home).Tell him about the intermiadiate band and how only the best musians are allowed in and the VOX Band tell him how you can sing to.
3rd paragraph: what is do you really like about RSGC tellhim about the computers they use and how they have an Xbox there to. Tell him a bit about food i saw it and it was adelicious lunch program.
Conclusion Paragraph:tell him how exited you are about RSGC . TEll him how are you having your interview yet or if you had it say about how fun it was or how exite you are to see him
Good work
Alex Parker
AHH, all your friends sound so educated. Seriously, altogether your freinds sound like a symphony of educations. THEY HAVE AN XBOX @ RSGC? ARE YOU SERIOUS!!!! ahh.
well we have a plasma in our lobby of our school.
keep writing
Love, Inde
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