do you remember the lights, the flashes
remember the blood and the gore
the bombs and the guns
constant bullets on the move piercing bodies with extreme pain
do you remember the time of risk
chance of death all around you
remember the time that is still deep in all of us
the men that risked their lives to save us
all we have are their omens
these omens are for remembrance
we must never forget the men that fought for us
5 comments:
nice real expressive
andrew j
HEY
i really like ur blog i dont think there is alot to fix up because u went into alot of detail in ur work and it shows...
scott
Hey Reid
I really liked some of the parts in your poem. I liked how in your last paragraph you reminded us of what the soldiers did for us and what they went through. The only thing I didn't like was in your first paragraph when you used the terms "blood and gore". I can understand what you are trying to say but maybe you could try using another phrase that would make it sound more like a remberance day poem then a horror movie. But all in all I thought You used some nice words and I think you should be proud of what you have done.
Reid that's a very good poem and you can express war in a good way and it's beautiful
Hi Reid
Cool poem
I really like the lines
"do you remember the lights, the flashes
remember the blood and the gore"
it really shows the feel of wartime
In the line
"constant bullets on the move piercing bodies with extreme pain"
it was good how you used all those adjectives but it may have been a little bit of of over use
maybe try it with out
"constant"
cool poem!
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